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Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.
Who the hell puts the ducks away
The full time team of highly trained Hungarian duck wranglers
How on earth did you get into this line of work?
Like everything in my life mate, entirely by accident.
I used to go to Rock City, Nottingham, as a punter and was asked to fill in one night on the stage door. I ended up doing 11 years while we had groups like Oasis, U2, Faith no More, Kings of Leon, etc week after week. I was a big lad then and always in the gym. The club owner, George Akins, paid me extra to do repos, debt collection, house calls, threats, etc.
I met a gangster who worked security, in the south of France, and went down to see him. I ended up as a bodyguard to people like Britney, Cher, Janet Jackson, etc when they'd come for the Cannes Film Festival, Monaco F1, etc.
When I was too old Mrs Smug shifted us into looking after property in the south of France, smart move tbh. We've worked for some of the world's richest people without so much as an 11 plus between us
As part of the interview process, for this latest job, I've just been asked to do my first ever enhanced DBS ....
.... that's the end of that then
Well, I guess most of us end up having careers that we never intended to, albeit mines nowhere near as interesting.
The post above reminds me of when my company were working on a naval base, the head of security (who actually was a lovely bloke) but deadly Seruous gave all the contractors a talk about security levels being high and to be vigilant.
He accompanied his talk by having to of the base security stood next to him with loaded assault rifles, which he happily pointed out was real ammunition, the chaps holding them had confirmed kills and were authorised to use deadly force.
We were then treated to a delightful insight into their guard dogs (****ing huge German shepards) with the explicit intructions not to approach them and if you saw one running to stand still
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Someone being on the drugs?
Well my venture in buying a part share in a racehorse has cost me a fortune due to the horse in question being scared to come out of the stables during daylight hours. It's a nightmare.
I bought my Mag neighbour a novelty napalm 'jack-in-the-box' birthday present ....
... you should've seen his face light up when he opened it
just got an embarrassing email from SCREWFIX
...reminding me that they're definitely not a Dating Site
I'm reaching out on behalf of a mate of mine who needs some help.
His missus asked him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.
When he came back he handed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.
That's why nobody sits next to you at the game.
I ate a frozen apple for lunch today. Hardcore.