Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Steven Toast, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. Steven Toast

    Steven Toast Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    16,791
    Likes Received:
    5,606
    For anybody who wants to chat about anything they would like to in terms of troubles or issues in their life.

    I'll stick some general rules up which will run alongside the usual board meta-rules (admins feel free to check this, I don't mind monitoring this thread).

    1. Please don't take the piss, you wouldn't believe how difficult it can be for people to discuss personal issues of this nature. (I know this goes without saying) Even discussing anything on here is a huge step for anybody, nobody has the right to downplay that, even by proxy.

    2. Do not feel obliged to discuss anything and know that you are not expected to respond if you do not feel you need to. Anybody is free to ask anything they like (within the rules put forward), but responses come at the discretion of the person answering.

    3. Only use poster's names in a positive context; this is something I do with my school children, we only use names in a positive sense during class discussions. While this seems infantile and somewhat namby pamby, it removes the pressures of expectation from anybody struggling with anxiety and is really important to those who are discussing things for the first time.

    4. If you feel, at any point, that somebody has said something inappropriate and you don't feel comfortable about it, PM myself or an admin. Nobody should be made to feel bad about discussing things like this.

    5. That being said, there will no doubt come times when things are discussed that you might be uncomfortable with. Use common sense when reporting things. For example, a child in my class has parents going through a divorce and gets upset when they hear the word 'dad'. Obviously we can't avoid that word forever. I'm happy to take PMs from people to discuss things if they are comfortable doing so, but we will still be operating within the realms of common sense. I trust that people on here will understand that.

    6. Nothing is stupid. Whether you're 18 or 80, your views and experiences are welcome and will be listened to. Everybody is affected differently by different things, so don't think that your problem is silly or that it'll just get shot down by posters of a different generation.

    I'll add the Samaritans phone number in which is a free service that can be called any time. It's 116 123. Always use it, the other end of the line is never judgemental and will listen and talk at your will. Use it, it's a tool worth having.

    I'm not bothered if anybody posts anything at all, it's here for everybody to use. I've found that many posters have had experiences and having shared them, have received wonderful support. At the end of the day, it's supporting the club that brings us together, but supporting each other is just as important going forward.


    Simul nos firmiores.



    ———————————————————
    Mod edit:
    If you need help:

    Samaritans (116 123)
    samaritans.org operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org , write to Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA and visit www.samaritans.org/branches to find your nearest branch.

    CALM (0800 58 58 58) thecalmzone.nethas a helpline is for men who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support. They're open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year.

    Andy’s Man Club
    https://m.facebook.com/Hullandysmanclub/

    Childline (0800 1111 ) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.

    PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

    Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information depressionalliance.org

    Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts. Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying studentsagainstdepression.org
     
    #1
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2019
    ristac, HGS66, s02699 and 20 others like this.
  2. Trau Morgus

    Trau Morgus Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,102
    Likes Received:
    1,501
    Although I opened up a bit on another thread, I really am a closed book.

    Right now, I just want to go my own way. And try to work things out. I don't feel like I'm on the planet right now. I feel like a ghost. Literally, all conversations and interactions are just passing right through me. It's an odd feeling and I don't know what else to say really.

    I don't want sympathy or owt like that. I just feel a million miles away from being human and normal.

    Anyway, even though I don't like to talk, I guess I did a little bit just then. I'm just not too good at life I guess ha.

    But this is a good thread. Cheers :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #2
  3. Steven Toast

    Steven Toast Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    16,791
    Likes Received:
    5,606
    That's alright Trau. Disconnectivity isn't as uncommon as some people make out, but it can be incredibly difficult to deal with. I hope you get through it.
     
    #3
  4. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,136
    Likes Received:
    12,636
    Mods. Make this a sticky <ok>
     
    #4
  5. Cortez91

    Cortez91 Moderator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2011
    Messages:
    8,317
    Likes Received:
    2,763
    Good idea for a thread! Fully support :)
     
    #5
  6. Cortez91

    Cortez91 Moderator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2011
    Messages:
    8,317
    Likes Received:
    2,763
    Done
     
    #6
    Steven Toast and Kempton like this.
  7. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,136
    Likes Received:
    12,636
    Good man right there. Thank you Cortez :)
     
    #7
  8. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,136
    Likes Received:
    12,636
    There is one thing I'd like to point out. People need to understand that although we, (I'll say we) is that people with mental illness still do have to deal with the everyday things that crop up in life.

    I want to run away from just about everything, but I don't.

    Whether that may be a death in the family, or troubles at work. Whatever. We still have to do life. And we ****ing well will.

    If anyone out there feels we are weak, just try to imagine the strength we use to get through the tough times in life.
     
    #8
  9. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    6,664
    Likes Received:
    3,054
    I know exactly what you mean fella. I really do. I was life and soul of family parties etc. Even going out with mates with some crap that has happened over the last few years I honestly felt like I was outside looking in. I lost my mojo what ever that is?

    I was always the strong one who people turned to. But who do you turn to? No one was aware because I covered it up well. Started to find my feet again now.

    I will admit something though. This board helps ... Some fantastic posters and threads Cheers.
     
    #9
  10. BrisbaneTiger

    BrisbaneTiger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    741
    Likes Received:
    514
    I was at a team planning day at work last week, and with there being a few new people in the team (Myself included) we had a bit of an introduce yourself. One of the first Ladies to speak said she suffers from depression and occasionally has to take some days off for it. Nothing too full on, but this prompted a few others to come out that they suffer with it as well, and by the time everyone had finished their introductions, out of about 15 people i counted 7 that openly discussed how they have encountered mental health problems, which as you all say took some guts to do for many of them, but I’m guessing the fact that many admitted to it helped some who would normally keep it quiet.

    This just goes to show how common mental health problems are (Maybe our team has a slightly higher percentage than the norm). The good thing about many people in our team coming out is that it then painted themselves in a totally different light to pother people and they could now suddenly see why people behave as they do (eg on sick or work from home quite often, or shut themselves away a bit too much), which could only help as many people (again myself included) put a lot of pressure on themselves as they think they need to make excuses for themselves which really they dont.

    As a bit of an observation, i actually dont mind people taking the piss out of my mental health, as long as it is done in a humorous way, if you see what I mean. I know this isn’t the case with some people who think mental health isn’t a laughing matter, but for me laughing and taking the piss out of it makes it quite acceptable and quite often the people who do it are actually in a cack handed way saying, to quote a well used phrase “I’ve got your back”
     
    #10

  11. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    2,316
    Likes Received:
    2,258
    I think making this a sticky is a really positive development. Sensible ground rules Sterling As you say some may think it's too protective, but for posters to open up it has got to be an environment where they feel safe to so.
     
    #11
  12. Van Winkle bamber

    Van Winkle bamber Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    281
    Likes Received:
    228
    TM and SA posts had me in tears the other week, I had a long response for TH but didn't post it and it eventually it wiped off.

    My son has classic autism (profound), life is hard and to make it worse you have to fight health, the local authority and his school in order for them to do the basics.

    The biggest fear is that when my wife and I are dead and buried my son will be in their care, it doesn't bear thinking about, it's so important to help him progress now.

    I've coped with some stress in my time but nothing comes close, I wish I could control the uncontrollables. (the humour has to stay)

    It's not a cry for help, just in the spirit of sharing
     
    #12
  13. GLP

    GLP Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    22,640
    Likes Received:
    13,810
    Good thread. I’m very much of the opinion that a problem shared is a problem halved (Not sure whether that’s right or wrong). I also lost one of my best friends from Uni at the age of 26 - which at the time was an enormous shock.
     
    #13
    Trau Morgus and Cortez91 like this.
  14. Quill

    Quill Bastard

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    35,613
    Likes Received:
    8,568
    Hey.

    I've not posted much recently because I've not been in the best place.

    I've been suffering from pretty severe depression for a few years now, since I was at uni, I felt completely disconnected from everyone around me and just kept at it as well as other reasons I'd rather not discuss on here, but in the past year or so I've got worse and worse, and it culminated in me trying to end it all about 2 months ago, but one of my mates found me and saved me. Since then, I've had to come to terms with exactly what I was doing and just how close to the edge I came, and had to finally admit to all my family and friends that I was also in a dark place. Nobody knew, I kept it hidden and just put on a brave face most of the time, and when I finally shared my problems it felt like a massive weight was taken off my shoulders.

    Since that night 3 months ago, I've been going to counselling sessions every week, am on a prescription of anti-depressants, losing weight, going out and doing more, and overall I am so glad that I was stopped, and I wish I had shared my problems sooner. I still have horrible days and every now and again have a panic attack, but I am in a much better place than I have been for years.

    For now, I'll just keep on truckin'.

    <ok>
     
    #14
    Onewaggy, HGS66, King Curtis and 18 others like this.
  15. GLP

    GLP Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    22,640
    Likes Received:
    13,810
    Best of luck in your recovery Quill, sounds like you have a great support network.
     
    #15
    Trau Morgus and Quill like this.
  16. GLP

    GLP Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    22,640
    Likes Received:
    13,810
    Losing my Mum completely unexpectedly in August 2014 took me to some very dark places. She was only 60 and it had been her 60th birthday celebration the weekend of our FA Cup final. She told me to go to the FA Cup final, knowing how much I loved City and the fact it was pretty unlikely to happen again. Her words ‘You can make it up to me next year’. I never got that opportunity and I just felt immeasurably guilty that I hadn’t attended her landmark event and I wouldn’t get the chance or opportunity to ever put that right.

    I feel guilty even whilst writing this.
     
    #16
  17. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,136
    Likes Received:
    12,636
    Sounds like a lot of us on here are or have struggled with some sort of mental illness, Quill.

    It does feel good knowing we're not alone.

    Just for a little bit of humour, has it crossed anyone elses mind, that it might be because we're City fans?

    Keep on keeping on, mate <ok>
     
    #17
  18. Quill

    Quill Bastard

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    35,613
    Likes Received:
    8,568
    Funnily enough, completely ignoring football has helped immensely. <laugh>
     
    #18
  19. Ernie Shackleton

    Ernie Shackleton Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2013
    Messages:
    7,111
    Likes Received:
    7,697
    I empathize with you totally GLP.

    My Mum died on 12th May 1986 totally unexpectedly, aged 53. I was out in town for the day and was uncontactable. I learnt she had died when I read a With Sympathy card someone had posted through my letter box when I got home that evening.

    Two months later my ex-girlfriend was murdered.


    I went to some very dark places over the proceeding years, refused to talk about either event and looking back I wonder now how I survived, with no counselling, no help and no real sense that I was suffering from either depression or PTSS.


    In any one year 25% of us will experience a mental health issue. It is highly unlikely that any of us will go through life without experiencing some mental health issues. We must discuss our issues as bottling things up and carrying on does not work.


    This thread is important and we who post on here really need to value it.




    And yes, of course supporting City is a contributoty factor towards so many mental health issues.

    The club is a ****ing basket case!
     
    #19
  20. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    92,577
    Likes Received:
    36,087
    My ex-wife was murdered, one of three people i’ve known who were murdered, I’m beginning to think it’s not as ‘incredibly rare’ as Crimewatch led us to believe.
     
    #20

Share This Page